Having the capacity to deeply connect with a man makes a huge difference in relationships. Whether you’re in the early days of dating or you’re in an established relationship, becoming proficient at real connection is a fundamental tool for all stages.
Connection is a core theme that I discuss quite frequently and for good reason. It’s your ability to release any preconceived notions or insecurities and drop into the present moment.
It’s also important to understand that learning how to connect deeply is an ongoing journey, not a one time event.
Today, you’ll learn three simple ways to feel more connected from your first encounter all the way through building a long-term relationship.
Sensuality
One of the best ways to build a deep connection and intimacy with a man is through sensuality.
At its core, sensuality is really just the practice of having awareness in your body and knowing how to feel good in it. It’s our magnetic essence, how we connect to our feminine power as women.
Expanding your capacity for experiencing sensuality directly correlates to a regulated nervous system, which is secure attachment in a nutshell.
Where many women get this wrong is that they wait for a man to show them their invested bring this part of themselves forward. They wait to show their full selves or be vulnerable until after the man alleviates their insecurities or shows that he’s consistent.
However, taking this approach of waiting for permission to bring your full self-expression forward leads to disconnection in your body.
When you’re connected to your own sensuality, you’re so in touch with the present moment that you can’t be future tripping or second guessing. And that type of grounded presence is what high quality men crave.
The real question is, how deeply connected can you be to yourself? Let that be the thing that cultivates intimacy with someone else.
So, how do you practice this?
Maybe it looks like taking a hot bath to really enjoy the warmth of the water. Diffusing some essential oils to put you in an open-hearted mood, or perhaps it looks like wearing your favorite soft feeling clothing that feels luxurious on your body.
Whatever you do, try connecting to your senses in everyday life. How can you bring more of your sensory awareness into your life outside of dating? The more you practice connecting to your sensuality outside of dating, the more natural it will be to bring out your magnetic feminine energy when connecting with a man.
Give the Man a Green Light
Men aren’t mind readers. They’re constantly looking for feedback from us. They’re looking for signs that their pursuit is welcome.
Men need that green light, a little nudge that you’re interested. Then, they can pick it up from there.
This concept can be used in numerous situations. It’s appropriate and effective in all phases of romance – from early dating through committed relationships.
I’ve had a client who just started dating someone, but wished he would be more flirty. Once she gave him the green light, he stepped it up and the energy started flowing!
Another client was talking to a guy online for a while, but he hadn’t taken the step to ask her out. She was worried it was turning into a pen pal situation. Once she gave him the green light, he took that sign and asked her out!
It’s important to do this in a way that sends the right signal, without an agenda or attachment to what happens next. Remember, we still want to be in that warm, inviting, feminine energy. Understanding the language of feminine and masculine energetics is an important part of this.
Learning how to give that green light and have men respond positively is a new skill set, but one that will definitely lead to deeper connections that progress without you feeling like you have to wait for a man to make every move, or like you have to drive everything forward.
Express Small Boundaries
When people think about boundaries, they often think about drawing lines. However, boundaries are really about telling the other person that these are your needs and this is the best way to show up for you.
It sets the tone for letting a man know how you can feel your best, safest, and most valued.
Setting small boundaries has so many benefits!
It helps men have feedback about the situation so they better understand you, and provide knowledge of where that line is for you. This also creates emotional safety for you, which leads to deeper connections.
So, what does this look like?
A simple application of this might be saying, “I’m excited to go on our date tonight! Just to let you know I have an early morning appointment tomorrow, so I’m going to have to be home by 10pm tonight.”
This is also a way to see if your boundaries are respected. When 10pm is approaching, does he honor what you said or does he try to convince you to stay out a little longer?
You also want to make sure that you’re respecting that boundary for yourself, especially in the exciting early days of dating. Even if you’re having an amazing time on the date and are tempted to push it, honoring that builds your own self trust and self respect. It demonstrates trust to yourself and the other person.
Having small boundaries supports you with pacing and early attachment. It reduces pressure and expectations.
Imagine the level of connection you’re going to feel when you express those small boundaries and a man respects them!
This isn’t just a tactic for early dating. Whether you’re a bit farther down the line in dating or in a serious committed relationship, it’s never too late to start setting boundaries.
And if you’re someone who has struggled with expressing your boundaries in the past, try reframing this for yourself. Think of it as, “Boundaries are how I show men how to best show up for me while honoring myself as well.”
At the end of the day, we all want that deep, meaningful connection in our romantic relationships. By starting to practice the tactics above, you’re on your way to building intimacy and truly bringing yourself into the present.
Want additional help learning how to form those deep connections with a man? Discover how you can work with me and uncover the confident, secure, irresistible woman you already are!