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You’ve probably heard the typical feminine energy advice. Just lean back! Don’t look too interested! Play hard to get!

However, a lot of this advice can actually be more harmful to women than helpful. The reason is because it doesn’t take into account your unique challenges and specific blind spots around those topics. This can especially be true of anxious or avoidant dater personalities.

General advice doesn’t factor in what’s happening deep down (insecurity, doubt, etc.). Oftentimes, when we try to suppress something that we’re struggling with inside us, it just pops up even bigger and messier than before.

If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I really try to dig deep and serve my followers with the best advice and techniques. No surface level stuff here!

So, what’s the best way to know if you’re in wounded feminine energy? Today, I’ll share the seven most common signs I see when working in depth with my clients.

Feeling Urgency to Move Things Forward and Know Where Things Are Going

Many women can feel pressure to move things forward or know where the relationship is going. I know it can feel unsettling to not know where you stand, if he’s going to commit, or what he’s thinking about the relationship. However, the truth is women who feel this are really looking for that sense of control. Moreover, it can start to manifest as pressure on the man, especially early in the relationship. Many women might push to have a heart-to-heart about where things are going to asway that feeling of urgency, but ask yourself if it’s really the right time to have that conversation. Take a moment to observe his actions, as they’re usually a good indicator of his intent.

Prioritizing Chemistry Over Compatibility

Of course chemistry is important in a relationship. However, it’s not necessarily a marker of who is a good fit in a partner. So often, women base who they want to move forward with on chemistry, only to discover that they are incompatible overall. This can lead to a repeating pattern of crash and burn. As you meet a new man, always keep compatibility in your mind.

Trying to Lean Back and Let Him Lead While Feeling Insecure the Whole Time

You’ve probably heard the common advice to allow the man to lead. However, it’s just as important to know how and when to use that advice. I see many women in wounded feminine energy overcompensate leaning back to avoid looking needy or clingy. This can often backfire, as many men can misinterpret this as disinterest. They do need a small nudge, a green light to let them know that you’re interested and engaged. When your energy is not congruent and you don’t know how to effectively move through those feelings of insecurity, it’s going to get in the way.

Quickly Attaching Without Pacing and Gauging His Level of Commitment

Sometimes, when a woman is attracted to a man and decides that he’s the one she’s interested in investing in, she will attach herself very quickly. She’ll go all in mentally and emotionally, without gauging his level of commitment first. When you’ve decided you’re invested, but he’s not there yet, the relationship can’t progress. Ensuring that you’re pacing really protects you in the first stages of dating.

Holding Back Sharing Your Needs Out of Fear of Pushing Him Away

I see many women in wounded feminine energy who don’t know how to effectively share needs and boundaries with their man. Many women don’t want to rock the boat or seem needy, so they go along with whatever he wants. Women even start to second guess themselves by asking “is this really important to me?” However, when you’re not openly sharing yourself, he’s going to pick up on it. It can feel inauthentic to him and that you’re withholding. Learning how to effectively express yourself can benefit both of you.

Looking For Signs That He’s Pulling Away

Anxious daters tend to be super aware of any little movement or deviation from the norm. For example, these women might notice that he usually puts an emoji in his texts, but today he didn’t. Or that he usually asks you out at the end of the date, but tonight he didn’t. Women like this look for signs to try to validate the deeper fears they have of being abandoned. Worst of all, this can often be a self-fulfilling prophecy! Anxious daters like this need to release these survival coping skills, so that they are able to connect with men in a real authentic way.

Being Overly Agreeable and Having Loose Boundaries

Similarly to those who are afraid to share their needs, women who exhibit this sign tend to bend their boundaries so as to not upset the situation. The common thread here is a sense of losing yourself. Stating those boundaries is important to be solid and secure within yourself, so whatever you need in a partnership to feel your best is maintained.

If some of these signs resonate with you and you’re ready to shift out of this energy, I offer several different coaching options. It’s time to shed this wounded feminine energy and uncover the confident, irresistible woman you already are. Click the link to learn more about my offerings and schedule an exploratory call today!