I often hear from women that they feel stuck in their love lives.
If you’re single, it can seem like no matter what you do, there’s no good men available.
If you’re in a relationship, it feels like things are stagnant and not progressing.
I tell these women the same thing. You can always get things moving in the right direction.
The best way to do this is by playing on your leading edge.
Your Growth Zone / Leading Edge
The growth zone (or leading edge as I like to call it) is located between your comfort zone and your freak out zone.
Basically, it’s that middle ground between the same old things you’ve been doing and going haywire by pushing yourself too hard.
Your growth zone is a place where you are continually activating yourself, giving yourself something to be pulled towards, and providing yourself new experiences to produce different results.
In order to constantly play on your leading edge, you need to be in tune with yourself. You need to notice what creates that sense of activation inside. What would feel stretchy, expansive, and slightly uncomfortable?
Remember, this is a moving target.
If you’ve been growing, what used to feel hard and be a leading edge for you probably seems easy now.
You want to always have your finger on the pulse of what’s next for you and invite that continual evolution into your life.
By playing on your leading edge, you’re providing yourself the maximum opportunity to form aligned connections and move forward in your love life powerfully.
What Keeps Women Out of Their Growth Zone
What keeps many women stuck is their looping stories, habits, and patterns running on autopilot behind the scenes.
If you’re single, maybe you find yourself repeating the same internal dialog.
“I really want to meet my true partner, but I can’t find anyone good.”
“There’s no quality men on the apps.”
“I live in a small area. There’s no good men available here.”
“I’ve done everything I can to meet someone.”
If you’re in a relationship, you might have a slightly different internal dialog.
“I feel like we keep falling into the same patterns.”
“I feel like my needs aren’t being met.”
These narratives seem like a dead end. Look at how defeating and limiting they are.
However, if you take a step back and get honest with yourself, you’ll realize that many of these are not aligned with what you really want.
Notice where you feel like you hit a dead end, or give up too soon. Notice where you take external circumstances at face value.
It’s because you’re hanging out in that comfort zone.
The truth is, you can’t be comfortable and grow at the same time.
Draw attention to these areas so that you can choose and create the life you want.
Playing on Your Leading Edge
Once you’ve identified the places where you tend to get stuck, you can begin moving towards your growth zone and learning how to play on your leading edge.
To start, you need to install the correct belief system. Feed your brain the truth that there are endless opportunities to meet great men.
When you get into the habit of training your mind to consider greater possibilities, you will start to see them.
Ask yourself, “How can I open myself up? How else can I move towards what I want?”
If you’re single, have you really done everything you can to show up?
Some things to consider…
Are you consistently showing up online?
Are you using dating apps appropriately?
Are you plugging into in-person opportunities?
Are you in meet up groups?
Are you active in your community, either online or in person?
Are you tapping into your network and asking if they know someone who might be a good fit for you?
Take it step further.
Are you actually making yourself open for connection when you’re out in public by putting your phone away, making eye contact, smiling, and starting conversations?
If you honestly answered yes to all of these, then I want you to go back through and expand your thinking further.
Is there a friend you can go back to and ask if anyone new comes to mind?
Is there a new meet up group you can join?
Are there tweaks you can make to your online profile?
Also, this is a good opportunity to refresh those beliefs and install the right ones.
“The more I open up, the more opportunities I see and are available to me.”
“My guy is out there. My only job is to stay open and available for him to come in.”
If you’re in a relationship, what else can you be doing to open yourself up to make this relationship amazing?
Can you express a need you haven’t been fully sharing with your partner? Can you try something new to create a different connection?
Even though you’re in a relationship, you still need to refresh those beliefs.
“I trust our relationship can be the best possible.”
“I know we can get to a good place and continue cultivating that.”
In either case, you want to bring a playful, non-attached energy to the things you’re trying. It’s all just feedback.
Experiment until you get into a great flow and then continue deepening that.
Open Up to Shake Things Up
The bottom line is, you have to open up to shake things up.
Continually inquire within yourself. Challenge yourself to rise up to that next level.
When you do, all of the excuses fall away.
That new belief system puts you in action and keeps you motivated.
It allows you to stay in that forward movement, even during those times when you’re not reaping the rewards that instant.
Additionally, it can be extremely helpful to have some sort of accountability and guidance in place with this practice.
To that end, if you’re looking to put this into action in your own life, I can help!
The Irresistible Woman Essentials, my intimate group coaching program, starts soon!
In just twelve weeks together, you’ll release hidden dating patterns that aren’t working, learn how to swap anxiety and insecurity for confidence and feminine magnetism, and discover how to attract higher quality men.
Click here to learn more. Then, hop on the waitlist to take advantage of special early bird savings + bonuses when doors open.